Emma- Four Months

Dear Emma,

Today, you are four months old! I say this every month, but I'll say it again...I can't believe how fast time goes. You did a lot this month, and every day I fall more and more in love with you. You make mommy & daddy laugh, but you also challenge us which makes us better partners because we both want the very best for you. We try to show you that we love each other, because we want you to know that you were born into a family of love, and that you are very very loved! 

The biggest highlight this month is that you rolled over. We were so proud of you, and now you never stop! Often I find you in the morning sleeping on your stomach because you had flipped in the middle of the night and then fallen back asleep. Now we just need to get you to learn how to get back on your back, because right now you get frustrated if you are on your tummy for too long. 

You have had a cold most of this month, which has been challenging for all of us. I feel bad because there isn't much I can do to help you out besides using the nasal aspirator and sitting in the bathroom with you while the shower runs so it gets nice and steamy. One of my favorite memories of this month is actually of us sitting in the bathroom while the steam was clearing out your nose and I was singing Christmas carols to you (we were home for Christmas). I would look down and see you smiling at me, and occasionally you would try and sing along :)

We have also endured many road trips this month, going back and forth to Chicago from Minneapolis 2 weekends in a row. I think you didn't like sitting in the car that long because you screamed your head off for at least 2 hours both ways. Luckily, our last drive back to Chicago is in just a couple weeks and then I promise we won't bring you on a car ride for that long until we get an iPad holder for the head rest so that you can watch some cartoons or something.

I love you and can't wait to see what you learn this month!

Mommy

Christmas

We had a great first Christmas as a family of three back home in Chicago. We spent Christmas Eve with my parents and went to the children's service at church which totally eased my fears of bringing Emma to church. It was quick and loud, if there was a child crying no one cared. I wish there was a children's service all the time! Christmas morning was spent at Brandon's parents house along with Emma's cousin Brady, Aunt Debbie and Uncle Matt. We had a wonderful breakfast of pancakes, Bay's english muffins, Brandon's famous egg dishes & other wonderful breakfast treats.

After the breakfast I look forward to all year, Brandon and Brady had a good time goofing off (I'm surprised that no food came back out!) then it was present time. Emma had no concept of presents, but I had a great time opening her gifts for her :) Next year she'll probably be tearing into them herself.

I am seriously sad that Emma's first Christmas is over, but I have to look forward to the years to come. I can't wait for her to be running around after her cousin and seeing the joy on her face when she sees presents under the tree and a stocking full of goodies. 

Emma Rolls Over

This weekend we surprised Brandon's mom by coming into town for the weekend. Brandon's family was celebrating Christmas on Saturday, so we thought it would be a fun surprise to drive down from Minnesota to celebrate with them. We had a great time with the family, and Emma rolled over for the first time! On Friday night, Ann told me that it seemed as though she was trying to roll over because she would get herself onto her side and then stay there for a bit. Well, imagine my surprise when no more than a few hours later I hear Emma crying in her room and I go in and she's on her tummy! The girl the proceeded to roll over again while Brandon and I watched. Here's a video of her doing it the next day:

 It is so cool to see these little things, it's amazing how little prompting babies need to reach developmental stages. I've only helped her roll over a few times before she did it on her own, almost like she knows instinctually how to do it. Babies have always fascinated me, but now that I have one of my own and get to watch her experience new things every day I am even more fascinated by the tiniest milestones.

Back on Track

I haven't done much in terms of blogging this past weekend because my parents came into town! It was fun to see them, even though it was a very short time with my dad. My mom came up to help take care of Emma while I had an appointment at Mayo Clinic for a lump in my breast that needed a biopsy. Thank goodness for smart, intelligent, friendly doctors and nurses because they took several more pictures of the lump and were able to determine that it is a fibroadenoma. Sounds complicated, but all that means is it is a small, contained, non cancerous tumor. If you're interested you can read more here. I knew going into this whole thing that I would be fine, but you start to hear a lot about breast cancer while you're answering doctor's questions both in person and while filling out all those forms. And then my mind starts going to dark places like, what if I'm not fine? What if Emma has to grow up with a mom who has cancer? What if I don't make it? You know, all those really dark far-fetched places that someone with an active imagination like myself tends to go quite often. Thankfully, it's nothing I need to worry about. I can get them removed if I want to, otherwise I just need to keep an eye on things to make sure that nothing gets out of hand.

While I was in the waiting room waiting for my breast ultrasound after just having another mammogram, I overheard the woman next to me telling her daughter that she had stage 2 breast cancer and was worried that it could be stage 3. A few minutes later her doctor came over and talked to her and she was crying and it really made me realize how scary that news must be to get. I can't imagine how I would react if given news that I was about to begin the fight of a lifetime.

I am so thankful for the life I have, and don't want to take any of it for granted. It is so easy to find myself wanting more, and usually it's something so frivolous. Yes, Brandon and I don't have a lot of money right now, but we have a lot of fun. We may not be buying a lot of things, but we are creating a lot of memories.

This picture is super blurry because right as I started taking it Emma rolled off Brandon.

Did you know?

On Amazon right now they are giving away FOR FREE one Christmas song every day. That's right, it's pretty awesome especially if you're like me and you just can't resist Christmas music this time of year. So I am slowly building my Holiday music collection, budget style.

On another note, I finally figured out how to make the pictures on my blog bigger thanks to Google and a bit of dabbling in the HTML section. Maybe I will try to learn HTML rather than just compose much like I am trying to use manual on my camera rather than automatic.

30 DPC: Day 7

Topic: I was inspired

This picture inspires me to get more creative in my photography. I am trying to keep my camera on manual more often than automatic so that I can experiment with different light & generally give more mood and atmosphere to my photographs. I hate the way a flash washes everything out. I was reading some tips on how to take better low light photography without a flash, and a good piece of advise I got was if it's too dark to get a good shot, just put your camera down and enjoy the moment. To me that means that sometimes a photograph just isn't meant to capture what will be captured by your memory instead. While I love photography because you are able to capture a moment in time, you are never fully able to capture the memory because there is so much more to a memory than a visual image. So I need to learn to put down my camera every once in a while and just enjoy the moment.

30 DPC: Days 5 & 6

Yesterday was a rough day for Emma...and me. Poor little baby was constipated all day and would scream a horrible scream every time she tried to poop. If it wouldn't be so painfully embarrassing for her, I would post a picture of her face while trying to poop. It's really sad, but I feel bad for laughing at the same time. I mean the poor girl was in so. much. pain but, she was pooping. Pooping is always funny, right?

Anyway, that, along with the great time I spent with my cousin yesterday cooking chili and baking cookies, are the reasons why I was not able to get my pictures in for the 30 Day Photo Challenge. I will include them both today.

Day 5: Birthday- share a birthday picture, yours or someone you love.

Ok, I will show a birthday picture of two people I love, my hubby & my nephew. Their birthdays are 10 days & 29 years apart, but we celebrated them on the same day before we moved to Minnesota. They are so cute together, Brady loves his uncle B. I believe this picture shows how much fun they have together.

Day 6: Friends- this could be your friends or a picture of your children with their friends.

How about both? Here is a photo of me and my two girlfriends with their baby girls. The three of us all had babies within about a month. It was so cool to be able to go through my first pregnancy with a couple of my good friends who were also going through their first pregnancies. And we all had girls, how fun! I think they're all going to be friends for life, even if we don't live nearby.

30 DPC: Day 4

Topic: Winter Wonderland- show a picture that reflects Winter

I love how all the bare trees and the blues in the water & sky make this picture seem very cold.

Photoshop Practice

Along with my fancy new camera, I am trying to sharpen my photoshop & editing skills. It's really neat when I look at my straight out of camera shots and think "hey that looks pretty good" but it's even neater to look at a photo after I've edited it and think "wow, that looks awesome!". Here is my first attempt at some processing in photoshop. I've included my straight out of camera shot first, followed by the edit.

I thought that the original image captured the afternoon sunlight pretty well, but after some edits I realize that the potential was much greater. I am very happy with how my first photoshop edit turned out. I can't wait to edit more photos!

30 DPC: Day 3

Topic: Still laughing...a moment you're still laughing about.

I hate roller coasters. They just freak me out. But a couple years ago, Brandon and I went to Disney World with his parents. The rides are super tame, but I am still a big wimp. This ride, tame as it is, freaked me out because there are these really sharp curves where your car spins around at the same time you're rounding the corner and I kept yelling "I'm too heavy for this ride, it's going to launch us off the ride!". Haha, we still talk about this today, how unbelievably crazy I was on this super chill Disney World ride. I was convinced that my weight (of course it would be my fault alone, never mind there were 3 other people in the car with me) would catapult us off the tracks. 

Suffice it to say, we're still alive. Disney engineers for the win.

Let the maid clean up...

I snapped a few pictures this afternoon of Emma napping on our unmade bed. Housekeeping has come 2 days in a row now, both times while she was napping so our room has yet to be cleaned. I keep leaving the bed unmade hoping that while I'm running around in the morning housekeeping will take care of it to no avail. Oh well, here's to a clean room on Monday...

30 DPC: Day 2

Day 2: I love you

I love these two. They are my life. I took this picture at my sisters wedding, a beautiful fall day this October. I love this picture because Emma totally looks like her dad, and she is just so comfortable hanging out in his arms. She is such a daddy's girl, and I am ok with it. There is nothing better than seeing Brandon with her.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 1

As we head into 2012, I thought a 30 day photo challenge would be a fun way to reflect on this past year. It would force encourage me to take more pictures with my wonderful new camera as well as blog more. I used to write a lot, but once I learned how to type suddenly writing became really hard and I would get hand cramps so I didn't like journaling very much anymore. Sad, but true. (Side note, I also gave up the piano in first grade because I didn't like how my back would hurt when I was constantly told to sit up straight. Also sad, but true). So I found a challenge on the blog Ramblings and Photos and decided to give it a whirl. 

So without further ado, here begins day one: Me. The topic: What are you most proud of in 2011?

I post this photo, not because it's the best photo of me, but because it best represents what I am most proud of in 2011. I took this picture just three days before Emma was born, fully expecting to have another two weeks to relax and enjoy my maternity leave. I am proud of my pregnancy. I started out overweight, but ended up not gaining a whole lot so I was quickly down to my pre-pregnancy weight. While that is still heavier than I should be, at least I'm making it easier on myself to just lose weight and not baby weight on top of it. I felt like I took really good care of myself during my pregnancy making sure to eat right (of course there were some cheats, I was pregnant for goodness sake!) & exercise regularly. Because of this I feel as though I had a relatively easy pregnancy, and at the end of it all I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl after a mere 7 hours in labor. So, being pregnant and giving birth are what I am most proud of in 2011.

Emma- Three Months

Today Emma is three months old and we had another great mommy-daughter photo shoot. Ok, so really it's a daughter photo shoot because I'm never in them but I truly enjoy taking the pictures! Emma is becoming a great little model, and I can usually catch a smile if I peak my face out from behind the camera and then look back into the lens really fast to ensure she's still in the frame. What I've learned from this is either A.) I need to paste a picture of my smiling face to the front of the camera or B.) buy a remote & a tripod. Seeing that we have very little money right now it seems A will have to suffice. It may be fun to see if she responds to a picture of me, after all she smiles at her octopus friend on her activity gym and he has a big old smile on his face.

Exploring Minneapolis

Emma and I did a little driving around today, and when we got back to the hotel and she ate (after she screamed her head off in the car) we did a little photo shoot. I'm trying to make sure she gets lots of tummy time and time in her bumbo chair. I want to make sure she's nice and strong! So here are a few adorable shots from today. She did really well!

It was Emma's first time at an art museum today! We went to the Minneapolis Institute of Art where she slept the entire time. Hopefully we'll be back one day so she can enjoy all the art and the beautiful view of downtown Minneapolis from the museum. Here are a few shots to help her remember.

I really enjoy exploring new cities. I have to admit it's very different exploring with a baby. I have to consider nap times, feeding schedules (other than my own) and where the elevators are. But I'm so glad I have my little buddy with me, and I can't wait until she understands these places and gives me input on what she'd like to check out. In the meantime, it's just me, going where I want to go, pushing a stroller. And there is no better feeling in the world.

Thankful

Today is my most favorite day of the year, Thanksgiving! It's not just my favorite holiday because of the food or my crazy family traditions, it's also my favorite because it encourages you to slow down and reflect on what you are thankful for. Too often I get caught up in the day to day, forgetting that I am beyond blessed. I recently heard a quote that really got me thinking about giving thanks:

What if you woke up today with only the things you thanked God for yesterday?

That really got me thinking, how often am I thankful? And not just flippantly thankful, but truly from the bottom of my heart grateful for all the blessings in my life. So with that, here are just a handful of the things that I am thankful for this year.

1. The amazing gift of life and the birth of our beautiful baby girl Emma Grace. There is nothing more miraculous than human life, and I know that now more than ever. So many people struggle with infertility, or complications in pregnancy or birth and I am so grateful that we have a happy, healthy, beautiful little baby. I could go on and on but I'll stop there :)
2. Brandon getting a job as a character animator! I am so proud of how hard he has worked to get to this point and the sacrifices he has made along the way. Seriously, how many people can say that they get to do a job that they LOVE and have wanted to do for a long time? I am reminded of the quote, "If you love what you do you'll never work a day in your life".
3. Along those lines, I am so grateful that the timing of this new job worked out in such a way that we don't have to be working retail this holiday season. I wanted to be able to enjoy Emma for her first holidays without having to go into work the next day and it's actually going to work out that way! Talk about God's perfect timing.
4. I'm so thankful that we have a place to live during our transitional period. Brandon's parents have graciously opened their home to allow us to stay with them as Brandon transitions to a new job and it was a huge blessing to not have to pay a lot of money for rent while I was staying home with Emma during the first couple months of her life.
5. Now, more than ever, I am thankful for family. I am so thankful that we get to go up to Bethany Beach today and enjoy the most fun Thanksgiving ever. I have a new outlook on my relationship with my mom after becoming a mom myself. I am so thankful for Brandon's family, for the fact that Emma has a cousin who is just a little older and a second cousin who is the same age. I am thankful that Brandon's family has remained close so that our children can grow up enjoying time with their cousins the same way we have both grown up with our cousins. I am thankful that I have a new brother, Ben, and that he an Trisha are beginning to build a life together. Family has taken center stage in my life this year, it's been amazing watching my parents become grandparents, and my grandma enjoying being a great-grandma (or GG as she as so aptly named herself).

I could go on and on, but I need to get Emma ready to go, hop in the shower, make another cup of coffee and head up to Bethany!

Emma- Two Months

We had our monthly photo shoot today. It was cool to see the difference in her engagement from last month to this month. She was so much more alert and happy than last month. It could be the new formula we have her on because it seems as though she is allergic to dairy. She's been such a happy baby since starting the formula. What I've learned in this past week is that even though you have an idea of how you want to parent, you can't get bent out of shape if things don't go the way you want. Sometimes you have to make sacrifices in order for your child to be happier and healthier. I was sure that I would never give her the dreaded formula. I feel that there is so much pressure on moms to take care of their children in a certain way and so it's really hard when the "right" way of doing things doesn't work quite right for your child. I have learned that I need to let go of doing things the way I think I'm supposed to, and instead to pay attention to what works best for Emma.

Anyways, here is her two month photo shoot. I love that I can just hear the "coo" she is making when I look at this picture. Enjoy, happy halloween!

Emma Speaks!

That's right folks, we can now hold conversations with Emma. Neither one of us knows what the other is saying, but the sentiment is there. It's the cutest thing ever, I think she sounds like a cat. Enjoy this video of Brandon having a conversation with Emma. At the end you get the real cat-sound effect, it's pretty darn cute. 

Tomorrow, Emma will be two months old and it blows my mind how fast these two months have gone. I know that I will continue to talk about how fast time has gone until the day I die, so I need to continue to remind myself to enjoy every single moment. Stay tuned for tomorrow's two-month photo shoot, it's Halloween themed :)

Moving

Last weekend, Brandon & I left Bristol Club after three happy years there. It was bitter-sweet because I really liked that apartment community, but with Emma we needed more space. Here's a picture of Emma in her first home!

Emma Smiles!

Well, I never thought I would see this day. The day my baby smiles at me :) I know it's only been five weeks (today exactly) but in the back of my mind I secretly feared that my baby would be the only baby in the history of babies that doesn't smile. That she would be this super-serious baby of sorts. I know that's a little dramatic, and most babies don't smile until about this time anyway, but there was still that fear. And this wasn't a "gassy" smile, or a smile that I think may be a smile but can't really tell. This was a smile directly related to something I was doing to her. A responsive smile. Here's the video:

There's never been a time in my life when I've wanted things to speed up and slow down all at the same time. On the one hand I can't wait for more of Emma's personality to shine through, I can't wait for more laughter, for her to start being able to tell me what she needs instead of me having to decipher her cries. But on the other hand I want to snuggle with her on my chest forever. I want the early hours of the morning feedings to never end (crazy I know, but there's just something special about it). I know that this is what I signed up for, but I guess I had no idea what it would really be like. I want Emma to love me as much as I love her, but I know that's not possible. I know that when she grows up she might care more about her friends than her mom, and maybe one day I'll be happy about that. Happy that she has friends that she considers family, happy that she is independent. I need to not dwell on those thoughts though. Right now this is my time, and her daddy's time, and I need to make the most of it and avoid getting caught up in the fear of being unable to control who she will become. All I can do is love her unconditionally and watch as she becomes the amazing person I know she is destined to be.

Emma- One Month!

Here is the first photo of a project I will be doing every month. I got the idea from the blog Young House Love . This is my first attempt, but thanks to Brandon's amazing photoshop skills I think it turned out ok! I have her on the back drop of moving boxes because aside from Emma, moving is the first thing on my mind right now. We will be moving into Brandon's parents in about 2 weeks and there is still so much to do! It's easy to get distracted though with the cutest little bean always ready to cuddle.

The Morton Arboretum

I went for a walk with mom this morning at the Morton Arboretum, I love this place and hope to bring Emma here one day. This is where my parents brought me and where Brandon & I got married. It holds a special place in my heart.

It's been a while...

So much has happened the past month and a half, where to begin? The baby and I are still doing just fine despite me continuing to gain more weight than the doctor would like and being on the verge of getting the scary pregnancy-related diseases such as pre-eclempsia and gestational diabetes. I'm fine though, nothing has come of my tests and in fact thanks to my strict no-carb diet I have actually lost 4 pounds in the past two and a half weeks! I've also committed myself to exercising every day and keeping a food journal. I'm proud of how I've been doing and hopefully will continue to stay strong until the day that Emma joins our family.

Oh yes, I haven't mentioned yet that we have decided to call her Emma Grace. There's nothing really meaningful about the name except for the fact that it's the first name that popped into my head before I even knew she was a "she".

With all my attention to eating well and working out I have not been able to stop thinking about all the bad things I really wish I could be eating but can't! So without further ado here is my top ten foods I wish I could eat but can't... (sigh, if only I was one of those pregnant woman that could use pregnancy as a time to eat more!)

10. Whole wheat toast with Nutella

9. Auntie Anne's pretzel with cheese dipping sauce

8. Lou Malnati's or Giordano's deep dish pizza

7. 600 lb. Gorilla Ice Cream Sandwiches

6. Starbucks Java Chip Frappachino with LOTS of whip cream

5. McDonald's french fries

4. Biscuits and Gravy from Butterfield's Pancake House or Egg'Lectic

3. French toast 

2. Movie theater popcorn (especially from the Tivoli in Downers Grove because it's free refills and the best popcorn of any movie theater!)

1. Oberweis Chocolate Peanut Butter milkshake! (I told B he should bring one into the delivery room as motivation to get this baby out of me)

Wow, that list just made me really hungry. Stay tuned for my next installment, "Foods that I am eating now and can't get enough of because they slightly satisfy my true cravings".

Love this Quote

from Etsy

Because We Can

Thursday Brandon and I went on an impromptu date just "because we can". We had a nice dinner at Panera (mmm, sierra turkey sandwich) and saw Source Code at the cheap show. It was really nice to just go out and enjoy an evening together what with Brandon being so busy with homework, resume prep, job hunting and all. It was also really nice to get out and do something spontaneous and last minute, something we won't be able to do much longer. Pretty soon we'll have to arrange baby sitters and plan our dates out weeks in advance.

Thursday was also the first time I can confidently say that I felt the little girl move, not just kick. I was sitting at my desk at work and I felt an arm or leg go from one side of my belly to the other. Just like that I can no longer say "I think so" when people ask me if I've felt the baby move yet. Just like that it is very real that there is a living being inside me experiencing the first bit of life.

On Thursday I also got the good news that my high blood pressure has gone down thanks to the help of a low dose of blood pressure medication. And the results from my test came back and I don't have to worry about preeclempsia right now. Yay! I felt weird being put on medication however the doctor told me that it would be worse for the baby for me to continue to have high blood pressure. I tell you, if there's one thing you can say to a pregnant woman to get her to do something (or not do something), tell her it's good (or bad) for the baby. It's my achilles heal I guess.

The End is Near

What a great start to a blog, "the end is near". Well, by the end what I really mean is the beginning. Brandon is almost done with his 18 month long program called Animation Mentor and we are only a few months away from our first baby girl entering this world. Brandon has been super busy these past 18 months in school and I am so proud of all the hard work he has put into this program. His talent is really shining through and his demo reel has gotten great reactions out of people. I only hope that a job quickly follows his graduation and that we can put all the stress of late nights and job hunting behind us. I can't wait to get on with our new life as a family of three when our little princess joins us in September. And so the end is near, but new beginnings are imminent.