Emma Smiles!

Well, I never thought I would see this day. The day my baby smiles at me :) I know it's only been five weeks (today exactly) but in the back of my mind I secretly feared that my baby would be the only baby in the history of babies that doesn't smile. That she would be this super-serious baby of sorts. I know that's a little dramatic, and most babies don't smile until about this time anyway, but there was still that fear. And this wasn't a "gassy" smile, or a smile that I think may be a smile but can't really tell. This was a smile directly related to something I was doing to her. A responsive smile. Here's the video:

There's never been a time in my life when I've wanted things to speed up and slow down all at the same time. On the one hand I can't wait for more of Emma's personality to shine through, I can't wait for more laughter, for her to start being able to tell me what she needs instead of me having to decipher her cries. But on the other hand I want to snuggle with her on my chest forever. I want the early hours of the morning feedings to never end (crazy I know, but there's just something special about it). I know that this is what I signed up for, but I guess I had no idea what it would really be like. I want Emma to love me as much as I love her, but I know that's not possible. I know that when she grows up she might care more about her friends than her mom, and maybe one day I'll be happy about that. Happy that she has friends that she considers family, happy that she is independent. I need to not dwell on those thoughts though. Right now this is my time, and her daddy's time, and I need to make the most of it and avoid getting caught up in the fear of being unable to control who she will become. All I can do is love her unconditionally and watch as she becomes the amazing person I know she is destined to be.