Getting closer...

On Monday I had my 34 week appointment for Owen. I now weigh the same amount that I did when I started my pregnancy with Emma. This was a big milestone for me (if "milestone" is even the right word for it). I've been struggling with my weight ever since that first appointment with Emma, so this weigh in was difficult because I'm entering that "heavy" category again. But I know that this time around I will be able to bounce back much quicker to get to my healthy weight. I wish I didn't worry about this so much, but luckily this time around I have awesome doctors who are very encouraging about where I'm at. When I mentioned my anxiety about my weight to the doctor on Monday, she just told me she knows I'm worried about it but she's not. And just the way that she gently told me that put me at ease immediately. I have loved every doctor in this practice but am secretly hoping she's the one that ends up delivering Owen.
Otherwise, I'm having a great pregnancy. I feel like I haven't documented too much because there really hasn't been much to talk about.

**update**
I totally forgot to post the above, so I'll go ahead and add to it now that it's been two more weeks! Time is really flying by right now as I'm training to work at Peet's coffee once the store opens and after Owen is born. I think the training has been a good distraction and has helped time pass quickly. My 36 week appointment was yesterday and all is still well! I've been measuring a centimeter behind the past few appointments which the doctor tells me means Owen will be a smaller baby than Emma was. Fine by me! :) Right now she estimates he'll be 7-7.5 pounds. It will be fun to see what he weighs at birth! I didn't gain any weight between my last two appointments which makes me so happy, but I know that it could all change these last few weeks. I have zero energy to workout, and I've gotten to the "I'm pregnant so let me eat whatever I want" stage. I also feel like I have little room in my stomach to breath let alone eat, so we'll see where this all gets me.
We are so excited to welcome Owen into our family. While heading up the stairs today Emma randomly turned around and kissed my belly and said, "I love you baby Owen!". Man, even when that girl frustrates me she has the ability to make my heart melt. Emma Grace, you will be an awesome big sis.

36 weeks! Emma was wearing her "crown" and reciting Cinderella.

Bachelor's degree- check!, new baby- check!

So I am excited to announce that I am finally done with my bachelor's degree! It took me about six years longer than I had thought to do, but after years of switching schools and majors I am finally done. I never thought this day would come, it seemed like every year would be "the year" that I would finish school. My official transcripts came in the mail that said "graduated" in the status line and my diploma should be delivered tomorrow. All I can say is what a relief! Now let the job hunting begin!

In other news, we are pregnant with baby number 2! I am so excited, nervous, happy, tired, all at the same time. I need to really write about how I'm feeling one of these days. Emma sort of gets that there's a baby in mommy's tummy, but ever since we told her she has been acting like a baby. She insists that she is a baby not a big girl, wants to be rocked like a baby, and says "wah, wah" and flails about when I am changing her diaper. Oh boy we have some work to do with this kid. Hopefully when the baby comes she transitions flawlessly into the role of Big Sister and recognizes her new place in the world ;) Yea right, but a mom can dream...

My new doctor's office has much nicer equipment than my last so we were able to get a great picture of the new little bean!

Almost 2

Emma,
Tomorrow, you will be two years old. I'm not sure how these two years have flown by like they have, and as much as I want to throw the brakes on I know that I can't stop time. On this day two years ago, I was going to the Downers Grove library to return a book, your dad was working as a teacher in the city. I was planning on heading into the city to pick him up around 10:00 at night. You weren't supposed to arrive for another couple weeks, but your dad and I both had a feeling you were going to be early. I was big, you were measuring big, and I just had that female instinct telling me that we were right and the doctors were wrong.

I never could have realized how quickly my heart leaped out of my body when you arrived in this world. Suddenly, I was extremely vulnerable and painfully in love with a tiny human who could not express any love back to me yet. I felt that this must be how God loves us. The ability to love so deeply a person who lacks the capacity to love in the same way.

I have been so lucky to spend these last 10 months as a stay-at-home-mom. Your personality has sprouted this year into a funny, animated, serious, caring little girl. I love the way you say "hug" and then hug whatever it is you're holding, whether it is a stuffed animal, doll, or me :) You have a joyousness about you that manifests whenever you yell "yay!" spontaneously. You just did that in the car on the way home from errands today. I'm not sure what you were so excited about but I loved it. You are smart, whenever we pass over train tracks you say "choo-chooo!" even if there are no trains around.

So Emma, happy, happy, happy birthday and many, many, many more. I love you more than I can even describe. You will not even begin to understand until you have a child of your own.

Love you,
Mom

18 Months!

Well, I clearly have been away from this blog for awhile. I wanted to hop on though and remember a few milestones. I've been reading blogs of friends who are pregnant and reading about their cravings and feelings during pregnancy has made me realize that I don't really remember much of those little details. I want to be more diligent in writing down the "every-day" things with Emma so that I can look back later on, and maybe even have some notes for whenever baby number two happens.

Emma's 18 month check up.

Emma is still a big, healthy girl. Her last weigh in was 26 pounds 8 ounces and 33 & 3/4 inches long. Both land her in the 90% for weight and height. She is one smart cookie too. The doctor said that she seems to be at the cognitive level of a two-year-old which makes me one proud mama. The worst part of the visit was, of course, the shots. Poor girl is smart enough now to know what's happening, and as I held her on my lap it broke my heart to see her so visibly terrified of the needle coming towards her. Just another moment that proves to me that as much as I want to be in control, I am not. I cannot protect her from everything that will harm or scare her, but I will do my best to comfort her when it's over.

Snow!

Another milestone this week; Emma played in the snow for the first time! It was actually Brandon's idea, I was worried that she didn't have the right snow-appropriate attire and she would be cold and uncomfortable. But, once again, I'm not in control. So we bundled her up as best we could and went outside camera in hand. And she loved it. She loved walking around in circles, occasionally bending down to brush the snow with her mitten. To my exclamation "I can't believe she likes it!" Brandon so wisely replied, "of course she does, it's a new experience".

Duh. 

I was putting my own reservations about the snow onto Emma without her actually trying it. Just because I don't like playing in the snow doesn't mean she won't.

9 Months, Plus a Little Catching Up

Can it really be that I have posted on here since March?! I have let myself down, I was really hoping that this blog would serve as a place to share my worries, excitement, and all things family. I guess I need to catch this little blog world up to speed.

April- I ran my first half marathon! It was such a blast to go down to St. Louis for a night and run with my sister and her sister-in-law. We got a whirlwind tour of St. Louis the night before the race as we drove the race course, and my brother-in-law explained some of the history of the town. I love city's and I love history, so this was such a great experience. The race itself was really tough. I ran as a part of a charity team which was cool because I had supporters all along the race, even though they didn't know me. Honestly, I think I would need to lose about 20 more pounds before running that type of distance wouldn't hurt my joints so bad. Towards the end of the race my hips were hurting, and my hips never hurt! The race was hilly and windy, but I was so proud of myself for doing it. And it was so great to have my parents and Brandon and Emma there cheering me on. One of my "bucket list" experiences in life was to have my daughter cheering me on as I ran a race. Even though she can't yet cheer, it was still so great to have her see me running even if she doesn't remember it. I want her to know that her mom is happy and healthy, and me role-modeling a healthy lifestyle is so important.

May- I had my first ever Mother's day! It was probably the best Mother's day I could have imagined. Emma and I took the train up to Michigan for my cousin Kurt's fin ace's bridal shower. It was so much fun to spend the day in Bethany Beach, a place that is so special to me. I introduced Emma to the beach and Lake Michigan. She had a great time with all my cousins and aunts and Grandma. She was the perfect baby, smiling and chatting with people. It was so much fun.

The month of May Brandon and I decided that we really needed to get serious about finding our own place. Nothing bad was happening at my in-laws, it was just getting to be that time where not being on our own was starting to become a point of discord in our marriage. It was just tough to be a family in someone else's home. So we casually started looking, and found an amazing place on craigslist. The landlord liked us, and picked us out of five other applicants. We just moved in last weekend and while we are still unpacking boxes, it already feels like home. The landlord painted Emma's room, I got to pick the color and it's a beautiful light purple. Her room is all set up, it's just perfect. The location of our place is amazing, 10 minutes from work, walking distance to the library and a handful of restaurants and Caribou! God is so good, and he provided beyond what I could have dreamed of. It is so hard to trust him sometimes, especially when you feel as though you are wondering for 40 years through the desert. It is good to know that he knows what is best for us, but it can be so hard to be patient!

Today- Today is Emma's 9 month birthday. I can't believe it has been 9 months already. My last post indicated that she has started crawling, well once she started that she has been a girl on the move! There is no stopping her. She is pulling herself up to standing and crawling like a maniac. She just doesn't stop. This weekend was the first time she went in the pool, and to my delight she loved it! It was so much fun to watch her splash and kick her little legs. I am looking forward to many more trips to the pool this summer. This is such a fun time in Emma's life. I look at her in the car in the little mirror we have hanging above her carseat and she smiles back at me. At Target and other grocery stores she smiles and "growls" at other people and lifts her arm up like she is waving. I hope she never loses this sense of wonder and excitement and friendliness. She is such a joy, and I love her so much.

On the Move!

Emma is starting to figure out the whole crawling thing. It is so cute, she pulls her legs up and scoots forward like an inchworm. My words can't describe how adorable it is, so here's a video! (Emma is almost 7 months old!)