Emma's third birthday

With all the excitement of Owen on the way, I didn't want to forget to document Emma's third birthday party. We had a great time celebrating with immediate family, which was still 13 people! I decided that until Emma has a group of friends that she wants to invite to a party I will just do birthday parties this way. It's so much more enjoyable for me to just be a guest at my own party instead of running around worrying if everyone is having a good time. Plus, it keeps the presents to a minimum. I know, that makes me sound so ungrateful and cynical, but really she has so much stuff already and her family gave her plenty. She was well gifted and loved this birthday!

Emma's request for her birthday this year was "go swimming in Grandma's pool and eat chocolate cake". So that is how we celebrated and it was perfect!

Every morning on her birthday we've walked into her room and started singing Happy Birthday!

Making blueberry pancakes with a number candle is another tradition I hope to continue.

Fun in the pool with Dada and Brady

I made Emma's cake this year! Ended up really happy with how it turned out.

Our growing family :)

Happy 3rd birthday Emma! We love you so much!

Potty Training Thoughts

I wanted to take some time to write down my feelings about potty training because it was so much more exhausting and emotional than I thought it would be. I want to be able to look back and remember what a struggle it was to get to this place so I will have empathy for new moms and also so that I give myself a break when the time comes to potty train baby number two.

I thought I would be super mom and potty train Emma much closer to two years old, but try as I might she just didn't get it. She has had a potty chair for a while and has sat on it but never attempted to actually go. I just think she wasn't developmentally ready until recently, but that is just one of those things you don't know until you actually try. You can never really know that a child is ready until they actually go on the potty. Sure there are signs that people and doctors say to look for to determine if they are physically ready, but the emotional and intellectual readiness is just trial and error in my experience.

Last Monday I decided (through researching many many blogs, medical, and parenting websites) that I was going to go "all in" and just hope for the best. I officially stopped using diapers (although I did switch to pull-ups, more on that in a bit), bought a giant bag of M&M's, some dollar toys at target, and stickers and declared that we would begin potty training. As Brandon says "bribe early and bribe often" :). I know the jury is out on whether to reward potty training with sugar, but that's a choice I decided to make based on the knowledge of what would motivate my child. I told her that she could earn M&M's and a sticker on the calendar if she went pee on the potty, and if she got three stickers she could choose a prize from the prize box. The first few days were really, really tough for me. I get very stir-crazy if I don't get to leave the house at some point during the day, and according to all the parenting websites that talked about potty training in three days that's what we were supposed to do. The first day is supposed to be spent indoors with no diaper or anything and just putting them on the potty frequently throughout the day. Then the second and third day you can leave the house for no more than an hour, but I ended up staying in on the second day because I didn't feel comfortable bringing her out and having to deal with the mess. It's partially that I am not super patient and get easily annoyed if things don't go according to plan. So by the third day Emma had class at the library and I didn't want to miss it so I put her in a pull up to avoid having to clean any mess up. I went against the "plan" but to me it was more important to get us both out of the apartment for a bit and just stop thinking about it.

A prize (the necklace) and M&M's.

She totally peed in these pants. Time for mommy to lay down her pride and put on a pull-up.

We tried some excursions to the playground and walks in just pants or underwear and she did end up having an accident when we were at the park. So she had to go home soaking wet but I think some of that is necessary to feel what it's like and hopefully let the natural consequence teach the lesson. After going out a couple times like this totally stressed out I decided to not be so judgmental towards pull-ups and just give them a chance.

Once I decided that I would put her in pull-ups at night time, nap time, and any time I knew we would be leaving the house for a long time I think things got a lot easier for the both of us. Knowing that I could leave the house without having to deal with a pee-soaked child at some point put me more at ease, and I felt I could still ask her if she needed to go and really encouraged her to keep the pull-up dry. I bought ones with fun characters on them and told her not to pee on Minnie, Doc, Rapunzel, etc. Sort of crass I suppose, but it got the point across!  

After going pee on the potty several times (over 40 times in almost two weeks) I decided we needed to get working on going poo in the potty. From my sister-in-laws experience, I knew that I needed to be pretty aggressive when it came to getting this to happen. My nephew took a while to get the hang of this, and what ultimately motivated him was a really cool toy car that they kept at my in-laws. I figured I would use the "really cool toy" motivator for Emma early on so that she would get comfortable going poo very quickly. And boy did it work. I got her an Anna doll and Emma was so motivated to go poo on the potty. It almost was working against me because she would refuse to get off the potty because she was trying so hard to go poo, that's how bad she wanted this doll. I can't say that the doll was it or if she just was ready to do it, but either way she got the doll two days after I bought it. Today she went on the potty twice and both times were not at home (once at a friends house and once at Target).

Emma wanted the doll in front of her and was sharing M&M's. Motivation!!

I'm so proud of this girl for going after what she wants :)

Watching Frozen with her new friend.

My Top Tips for Potty Training

1. Bribe early and often- just make it easier on yourself and fun for the kid. Now is not the time to force them to do things the way you want.

2. Get them to go on potties outside the house- I am glad I took Emma to public restrooms right away. It made it so much easier than worrying about whether she could make it home in time.

3. Have them face the back of the toilet- this is a tip for when you're not at home with a potty chair. If she was some place public or at grandma and grandpa's I had her straddle the seat facing the back of the toilet. This gave more stability and she didn't have to think about going potty and also keeping herself from falling into the toilet.

4. Try to train pee and poo at the same time- I know this totally depends on the emotional readiness of the child, but in my experience it just makes sense. But I also had to bring out the big guns with a bribe to make it happen.

5. Use pull-ups or thick padded underwear (training pants)- again this is a "worked for me" thing but I know personally I was very against pull-ups because I thought it would just feel like a diaper. But since we were talking about going potty and really focused on keeping the pull-up dry it was a great fall back option for those times when you just can't make it to a potty in time. Many times she would be able to hold a little bit but couldn't totally wait.

6. Don't compare your kid to anyone else- this is really really hard because it can seem like you're not doing something right as a mom if your child isn't potty trained by a certain time. Every mom has a different motivation to get their child potty-trained and every child will react differently to the potty. For me I had to get her potty trained for preschool and also before the new baby. This was my particular catalyst for getting so into it. But you really do have to be ready to commit, for me having a "deadline" was what I needed to jump in feet first even though I didn't feel I was ready. 

7. It's OK to cry about it, just not in front of the kid- This one is a tip I will need to remind myself of with baby number two. I cried a lot of frustrated, defeated tears over the last couple weeks. But I told myself I would never cry in front of Emma and I also tried really hard not to upset her on the potty. I wanted potty training to be a fun and enjoyable learning experience for her (hence all the prizes and candy) and so I tried really hard to keep her happy any time she was on the potty.

Bachelor's degree- check!, new baby- check!

So I am excited to announce that I am finally done with my bachelor's degree! It took me about six years longer than I had thought to do, but after years of switching schools and majors I am finally done. I never thought this day would come, it seemed like every year would be "the year" that I would finish school. My official transcripts came in the mail that said "graduated" in the status line and my diploma should be delivered tomorrow. All I can say is what a relief! Now let the job hunting begin!

In other news, we are pregnant with baby number 2! I am so excited, nervous, happy, tired, all at the same time. I need to really write about how I'm feeling one of these days. Emma sort of gets that there's a baby in mommy's tummy, but ever since we told her she has been acting like a baby. She insists that she is a baby not a big girl, wants to be rocked like a baby, and says "wah, wah" and flails about when I am changing her diaper. Oh boy we have some work to do with this kid. Hopefully when the baby comes she transitions flawlessly into the role of Big Sister and recognizes her new place in the world ;) Yea right, but a mom can dream...

My new doctor's office has much nicer equipment than my last so we were able to get a great picture of the new little bean!

Things Emma says...

I am so excited to finally start blogging about the cute things Emma says now that she's starting to talk a bit more coherently.

Last night at dinner:

(Emma folds hands) "Jesus, welcome back!"

Love that kid. Can't wait for more of this.

Word of the year- 2014

Normally, this time of year is one for making a resolution, lose weight, drink more water, exercise more, etc. These are often met with vigorous enthusiasm for several weeks and then forgotten about or moved to the lower end of the priority spectrum. I recently came across the idea of a "word of the year" found here. It goes along with Willow Creek's focus for the next few weeks on the idea of getting stronger in 2014. What would happen to the church, ourselves, our relationships, if we were more proactive about becoming stronger people, wives/husbands, parents, members of society. That's the goal: see what happens when we are mindful. In this spirit, I have decided my word of 2014 is "embrace". Here are a few reasons why I am choosing to reflect and act on that word this year:

1. I've been staying at home for more than a year now, and often times days tend to blur together and I find myself creating things to do in order to feel productive. I find myself getting into the habit of just getting Emma from morning to nap time to bed time without really embracing the time in between. I want to make the most of every minute she is awake, whether that means playing at the park a little longer, doing a puzzle with her, playing "cool cars", or whatever else she is into. I want to embrace our time together and not just let it slip by.

2. I am almost done with my bachelors! I cannot believe I finally get to say that, but it is true. I have four weeks left of my current class and then one final class to wrap everything up. This has been a goal 10 years in the making, if I count all the time I spent after high school trying to figure out what I wanted to do when I grow up. It would be easy to just ride this time out trying to just "get it done" but I want to embrace and remember this time. I want to continue to try and learn whatever I can, and also remember this feeling of accomplishment. It's not every day where a goal takes so long to achieve, and it is even more rare to actually accomplish a goal that takes so long. It would have been easy to give up years ago, but I persevered. I want to embrace and remember this stubbornness, this ability to persevere. 

3. I want to embrace my "little while" friends right now. When I was younger I had a book that I loved called Orlando's Little-While Friends. I think so often I am slow to make friendships with people because we do not see a future, so to speak. I have a great group of friends from a bible study and play group, and I enjoy the times that I spend with them very much. But I know that these probably aren't "forever friends" and so it is hard for me to truly invest in those relationships. I need to be ok with the fact that people can be in my life for a short time, and that does not make them any less meaningful to my story. 

Just as these boys parents are my "little-while" friends, they are also Emma's "little-while" friends. I still want to see her be friends with them in a very real way, so I should also invest in the same way with my own friends.

Almost 2

Emma,
Tomorrow, you will be two years old. I'm not sure how these two years have flown by like they have, and as much as I want to throw the brakes on I know that I can't stop time. On this day two years ago, I was going to the Downers Grove library to return a book, your dad was working as a teacher in the city. I was planning on heading into the city to pick him up around 10:00 at night. You weren't supposed to arrive for another couple weeks, but your dad and I both had a feeling you were going to be early. I was big, you were measuring big, and I just had that female instinct telling me that we were right and the doctors were wrong.

I never could have realized how quickly my heart leaped out of my body when you arrived in this world. Suddenly, I was extremely vulnerable and painfully in love with a tiny human who could not express any love back to me yet. I felt that this must be how God loves us. The ability to love so deeply a person who lacks the capacity to love in the same way.

I have been so lucky to spend these last 10 months as a stay-at-home-mom. Your personality has sprouted this year into a funny, animated, serious, caring little girl. I love the way you say "hug" and then hug whatever it is you're holding, whether it is a stuffed animal, doll, or me :) You have a joyousness about you that manifests whenever you yell "yay!" spontaneously. You just did that in the car on the way home from errands today. I'm not sure what you were so excited about but I loved it. You are smart, whenever we pass over train tracks you say "choo-chooo!" even if there are no trains around.

So Emma, happy, happy, happy birthday and many, many, many more. I love you more than I can even describe. You will not even begin to understand until you have a child of your own.

Love you,
Mom

4th of July

We had such a great week last week celebrating the 4th of July. On Wednesday, Emma and I drove to Bethany Beach for a pre-4th get-together with my cousins and other family I haven't seen in a long time. It is alway so great to be with family. Emma got to play with her second cousin Jack since he is a bit more mobile now, he's almost a year old!

Loves climbing around the Bethany Beach playground

Merry-go-round with Jack and Heidi

Tetherball with Grandpa

On Thursday, we went over to Brandon's parents to play in the pool and have a cook-out. All the things you're supposed to do on the 4th of July. Emma had such a great time in the pool, and even shocked us all when she decided she wanted to go off the diving board just like her cousin Brady!

Brady is getting so big!

Feeling like a big girl on the diving board

She did this all on her own, it's instinct.

Jumping into Dada's arms

Our beautiful niece, Sloane, who is almost 1!

Brandon told me that Brady is standing exactly how Matt used to in pictures.

Perfect light to capture the day.

My two little hams offered to sit on a bench so I could take their picture!

Overall it was a great week of celebration. Over the weekend Brandon and I got away to Holland, MI with Amanda and Charlie. It was so fun to take an adult weekend away and spend time with old friends.

Dear Emma: This Week

Brandon was in Seattle all week for business, and I have to say this week went by so much faster than I anticipated! I did what I could to fill up the week with new and fun things to do to keep both myself and Emma entertained. Here's a recap:

Monday
We had a pretty low-key day on Monday. We had just gotten home from a weekend in Michigan, and had a graduation party on Sunday afternoon. Then we celebrated Father's Day by having burgers and milkshakes at Smashburger. It was a busy, but really fun weekend. I was hoping to take you to a music in the park across the street but it got rained out, so we had a picnic in your bedroom. I think you really liked it.

"GG" momma, Emma, and Auntie Trish watching the sunset in Michigan

I set up your chair at the table so we could eat together every day this week. I think you like sitting at the table better than in the high chair.

You were watching GMA and dancing along with the musician that was performing.

Tuesday

I sent you off to Grandma and Grandpa's on Tuesday because I was volunteering at Willow Creek for the first time. You had a blast watching the tree trimmers in their backyard. Grandma said you stood at their kitchen window for over an hour watching the men climb the trees and the branches falling to the ground. That is my favorite thing about you, you are so curious!

Grandma snapped this picture, you were having such a fun time at their house!

Wednesday

On Wednesday's we meet with our play group. We have been doing something different every week to make the most of the summer. This week we went to Cosley Animal Farm in Wheaton and you had such a great time feeding the ducks! I think that was your favorite part, besides just being able to roam around and wave at the animals. After that we went to Grandma and Grandpa's again for you to nap while I helped with their basement renovation. You napped for over four hours allowing us to get so much done. I was surprised that you napped for so long considering there was so much banging going on.

A view from inside Grandpa's office

Thursday

This was the day I was really looking forward to because we were going to see Curious George live at the Morton Arboretum! I had a feeling you would get a little scared of him, and you did, but you also had a great time walking around playing with chalk and bubbles and eating popcorn and ice cream. You did get curious about Curious George and would walk near him and just look at him from afar. It was so cute, you were being so brave within reason.

Grandpa gave you some of his old cars and you love playing with them

First Popsicle

Little miss independent with her popcorn

not so sure about Curious George

Cheesin' it up with Grandma and Grandpa

Friday

Today we will go to the Farmer's Market and take it easy. I will pick up dada tonight and you get to spend another night at Grandma and Grandpa's. They love having you over and call you "their little houseguest". I'm sure you'll have a great time.

First Haircut

My dad and I took Emma to get her first haircut yesterday at Jackie's Barbershop in West Chicago. We went there because my dad has been seeing his barber Kathy for over 20 years and I got haircuts there as a kid. I just loved the nostalgic idea of bringing Emma to the same place and person I went to for her first haircut. I thought it would be better than those kitschy kid snips places. Emma did not like it at all. She flinched every time Kathy would squirt her hair with the water and cried through most of the hair drying. But overall, she did pretty good considering she doesn't like people touching her. It is so funny to see Emma's little personality develop, and to watch her do some of the same things I would do in different situations. As I was watching Emma's reaction to getting her haircut, it was like she was on high alert and nothing could distract her or calm her down. I am the same way when I am in new or uncomfortable situations. I'm sad for her that she is like me in that sense, but I also feel better equipped to help her face difficult situations. I just have to think about what I would want done for me.

After the haircut, we surprised my mom at school and that was so fun. Emma ran right up to her in the classroom and then danced for all the kids, much to their delight. Then my dad, Emma and I went to the Morton Arboretum for lunch and play. They have a great kids garden that has a stream running through, Emma loved playing in that.

Overall it was a great day filled with firsts. I love exploring life with Emma, and I hope that she knows how much I enjoy doing so.

Easter Weekend

This Easter weekend was so refreshing. I spent Good Friday service alone (along with thousands of people) at Willow Creek. In a way, it was nice to celebrate such a reverent day on my own. It gave me a chance to reflect and thank God for sacrificing his only son for us. We spent Easter Sunday with Brandon's parents and a few other members of the extended family. It's always nice for Emma to get a chance to play with Brady and it was nice to get to spend some more time with Sloane. I'm so thankful that I married into such a nice family and that we all live so close.

So fun to see our babies grow, and the new additions!

Playing the piano with Grandpa

Easter Egg Hunt!

Enjoying Easter treats with Dada