Still laboring...

At my appointment on Monday I was told I am now dilated to 5cm. That's halfway there folks! I really do feel like I have been so tired, almost like my body has been in slow labor for almost a month now. Dr. Gallo said that if I wanted I could schedule an induction any time this week, they'd break my water and see what happens. I feel like the word of this past month has been "anticipation". I never expected to go full term, simply based on the fact that Emma came two weeks early. I don't know if it's that I've been told the last four visits about how my water will break and labor will go quick, or if it's just the idea of going 40 weeks instead of 38 but I have been extremely on edge and sort of anxious for Owen to get here. As tempting as induction sounds, I have decided to give him to his due date to arrive on his own, and if I'm still pregnant at my 40 week check up on Monday then I will schedule something. I have really been hoping to do this birth all natural, and the chances of that happening if I get induced are much lower. So in the meantime, I will enjoy the quiet times when Emma is napping or at preschool, and soak up as much help from my parents as they are willing to give so that I can rest. As uncomfortable as I am, I know that Owen is still growing and doing just fine inside, so there is no reason to rush. I also know that this time with Emma as my "only" is a very special time, and so we are taking every advantage of it!

Cosley Zoo 

Scarecrows at the arboretum

Getting closer...

On Monday I had my 34 week appointment for Owen. I now weigh the same amount that I did when I started my pregnancy with Emma. This was a big milestone for me (if "milestone" is even the right word for it). I've been struggling with my weight ever since that first appointment with Emma, so this weigh in was difficult because I'm entering that "heavy" category again. But I know that this time around I will be able to bounce back much quicker to get to my healthy weight. I wish I didn't worry about this so much, but luckily this time around I have awesome doctors who are very encouraging about where I'm at. When I mentioned my anxiety about my weight to the doctor on Monday, she just told me she knows I'm worried about it but she's not. And just the way that she gently told me that put me at ease immediately. I have loved every doctor in this practice but am secretly hoping she's the one that ends up delivering Owen.
Otherwise, I'm having a great pregnancy. I feel like I haven't documented too much because there really hasn't been much to talk about.

**update**
I totally forgot to post the above, so I'll go ahead and add to it now that it's been two more weeks! Time is really flying by right now as I'm training to work at Peet's coffee once the store opens and after Owen is born. I think the training has been a good distraction and has helped time pass quickly. My 36 week appointment was yesterday and all is still well! I've been measuring a centimeter behind the past few appointments which the doctor tells me means Owen will be a smaller baby than Emma was. Fine by me! :) Right now she estimates he'll be 7-7.5 pounds. It will be fun to see what he weighs at birth! I didn't gain any weight between my last two appointments which makes me so happy, but I know that it could all change these last few weeks. I have zero energy to workout, and I've gotten to the "I'm pregnant so let me eat whatever I want" stage. I also feel like I have little room in my stomach to breath let alone eat, so we'll see where this all gets me.
We are so excited to welcome Owen into our family. While heading up the stairs today Emma randomly turned around and kissed my belly and said, "I love you baby Owen!". Man, even when that girl frustrates me she has the ability to make my heart melt. Emma Grace, you will be an awesome big sis.

36 weeks! Emma was wearing her "crown" and reciting Cinderella.

Not thinking about a number

I've removed the "follow me on my weight loss journey!" widget from my blog because as much as I hate to admit it, it made me cringe every time I logged in because the number is obviously going up as I am pregnant. I didn't need a reminder that I am getting bigger, I can just look in the mirror for that. Weight has always been a big issue for me, it's something I was always conscious of even when swimming 2-3 hours a day during high school swim season. I was always bigger, but never felt unhealthy. Of course that is because I was swimming TWO to THREE HOURS a day! It's been hard as a post-high school semi-retired athlete to accept my new body and let it settle a little heavier than I would like. And when my OB with my first pregnancy told me I was 50 pounds overweight during our first meeting I was crushed, and have used that to fuel my passion for losing weight these past nearly three years. Looking back, I am appreciative of that "wake up call" because I never saw myself more than 20 pounds overweight and in reality I was probably more like 30-40 pounds overweight. However, I don't know if having a doctor tell a pregnant woman such an aggressive number was the most appropriate thing to do at the time. I was literally trying to hold back big sloppy tears as he told me stories of women that would keep chocolate chip cookies in their purses, almost preemptively judging that I seemed the type to do such a thing.

With Pregnancy Number Two, I am trying to think more realistically about food and exercise. I know I am in much better shape, and have a healthier view of food than I was with Pregnancy Number One. I keep telling myself I am going to workout at least 4 times a week and eat healthy while allowing indulgences once in a while. That, to me, seems reasonable. I will let the scale fall where it will.

Bachelor's degree- check!, new baby- check!

So I am excited to announce that I am finally done with my bachelor's degree! It took me about six years longer than I had thought to do, but after years of switching schools and majors I am finally done. I never thought this day would come, it seemed like every year would be "the year" that I would finish school. My official transcripts came in the mail that said "graduated" in the status line and my diploma should be delivered tomorrow. All I can say is what a relief! Now let the job hunting begin!

In other news, we are pregnant with baby number 2! I am so excited, nervous, happy, tired, all at the same time. I need to really write about how I'm feeling one of these days. Emma sort of gets that there's a baby in mommy's tummy, but ever since we told her she has been acting like a baby. She insists that she is a baby not a big girl, wants to be rocked like a baby, and says "wah, wah" and flails about when I am changing her diaper. Oh boy we have some work to do with this kid. Hopefully when the baby comes she transitions flawlessly into the role of Big Sister and recognizes her new place in the world ;) Yea right, but a mom can dream...

My new doctor's office has much nicer equipment than my last so we were able to get a great picture of the new little bean!

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 1

As we head into 2012, I thought a 30 day photo challenge would be a fun way to reflect on this past year. It would force encourage me to take more pictures with my wonderful new camera as well as blog more. I used to write a lot, but once I learned how to type suddenly writing became really hard and I would get hand cramps so I didn't like journaling very much anymore. Sad, but true. (Side note, I also gave up the piano in first grade because I didn't like how my back would hurt when I was constantly told to sit up straight. Also sad, but true). So I found a challenge on the blog Ramblings and Photos and decided to give it a whirl. 

So without further ado, here begins day one: Me. The topic: What are you most proud of in 2011?

I post this photo, not because it's the best photo of me, but because it best represents what I am most proud of in 2011. I took this picture just three days before Emma was born, fully expecting to have another two weeks to relax and enjoy my maternity leave. I am proud of my pregnancy. I started out overweight, but ended up not gaining a whole lot so I was quickly down to my pre-pregnancy weight. While that is still heavier than I should be, at least I'm making it easier on myself to just lose weight and not baby weight on top of it. I felt like I took really good care of myself during my pregnancy making sure to eat right (of course there were some cheats, I was pregnant for goodness sake!) & exercise regularly. Because of this I feel as though I had a relatively easy pregnancy, and at the end of it all I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl after a mere 7 hours in labor. So, being pregnant and giving birth are what I am most proud of in 2011.