On Monday morning (October 27) I had a doctor appointment and at the time I was 40 weeks and 1 day pregnant. Still feeling like it could happen any time, I was feeling frustrated and anxious for Owen to get here. I didn't want to go into labor during the middle of the day because Brandon was in the city and I didn't want him to worry about missing the birth. So at the appointment I had my doctor sweep my membranes which is one way to naturally induce labor. She told me that if I wanted, she could have me head on over to labor and delivery and they could get me started with an induction. I wasn't ready to make that decision by myself though, so I told her I would rather get the induction in the books for later that week so Brandon would be home and we'd be prepared for it. My parents were watching Emma and I had already asked them if they wouldn't mind if I got a pedicure after my appointment. So my doctor told me, "go get your pedicure, go for a walk, and maybe you'll be giving me a call this afternoon!".
Later that day, I felt more semi-regular contractions, but nothing compared to how I felt when I went into labor with Emma. As the day progressed I started thinking about how it would be much better to drive to the hospital when I was in the state I was in since we needed to drop Emma off at the grandparents and then drive semi-far to the hospital. So I called doctor Mitchell and she said, "well you might as well come in because I'm here and we could get things started". So in a sense it was nice to calmly head to the hospital rather than be in total agony the entire ride.
Once we got to the hospital, I was put on an antibiotic since I was group B step positive. Ideally, they like patients to be on an antibiotic for four hours before their water breaks to ensure the health of the baby. So during those four hours Brandon slept on and off and I just watched HGTV. Around 2:45am Dr. Mitchell came in to break my water and from there things progressed really quickly. Over the next two hours, my contractions became so intense I could hardly stand it. At one point I was curled up on my side in pain trying to get out of bed to use the bathroom but I couldn't move. So I screamed that I wanted an epidural, and felt like I had betrayed myself but at the same time felt like I couldn't go on in the amount of pain I was in. So the nurse came in and semi-half heartedly asked me why I didn't want an epidural and I couldn't speak so Brandon spoke for me. But I was in such pain, and couldn't relax, so I just kept saying I didn't know it would be like this! I seriously was screaming and moaning so much I felt like people outside my room were probably laughing at me or rolling their eyes. I felt so dramatic, but I also was just going with how I felt- horrible! So finally the nurse asked if I would like to be checked, because if I was at a 10 I could just push and skip the epidural. Well, she checked and I was at an 8, this made up my mind that I needed an epidural. So they hooked me up to an IV and called the anesthesiologist. I kept saying, "where is the epidural?!" because I felt like I couldn't take the pain a moment longer, and honestly the thought of a giant needle in my spine no longer scared me, I was more scared of the next contraction. Once he finally arrived, I could barely answer when he asked if I was familiar with the epidural. I squeaked out a "yes" and they asked Brandon to go wait in the waiting room. Well, as soon as I sat up I felt the intense pressure to start pushing and I just yelled, "I HAVE TO PUUUSHHH!" over and over again! The nurse told me to lay down and I told her I couldn't- because I really couldn't move- and she said, "well what are you going to do have the baby like this?". This got me because, no, I can't have the baby if I'm sitting down. So another nurse ran in to help me lay back down. Dr. Mitchell came in at that point and there was lots of talking like they were shocked I was ready to go. At some point someone ran to the waiting room to get Brandon and told him, "there's no time for an epidural, your baby is coming now!".
At this point, I think I had a momentary panic attack because I realized I would have to push the baby out without an epidural. It took me a few minutes to come to grips with the fact that it would happen whether I was ok with that fact or not. I have to say, my doctor was amazing at keeping me focused on how to get the baby out as quickly as possible. She described to me exactly the type of pain I should be feeling, and what would be happening. (She said it's like pushing on a bruise, which I have to say was strangely accurate). Without the epidural, I was able to position my legs and feet to push productively and I could feel Owen move down the birth canal. As crazy as it seems, these feelings were so helpful because I was aware of what was going on. After about 15-20 minutes of active pushing Owen James Perkins was born at a surprising 9 pounds 12 ounces. When they said his weight I said, wait what?? Because I was shocked he was so big! They placed him on my chest and I just was sobbing, it is just the most emotional thing one can ever experience. The pain is incredible but the pride of accomplishment is equally so.
I feel like I need to write an entire other post about my experiences of an epidural versus natural birth. So more to come...
