Savoring the Simple Things

I'll post about Christmas later, today I just wanted to savor our mornings together. As much as I get a little stir crazy staying at home, I am so lucky that I get to spend all day with Emma. She makes me laugh so much and it's so fun watching her become "her". Here are a few pictures from this morning.

After days and days of eating what seemed like nothing but Christmas cookies,
she finally ate some broccoli for lunch.

There is nothing sweeter than baby fine hair in pigtails!

A sweet smile for the camera.

Reading in her new chair she got for Christmas. This was the splurge present, but well worth it!
(Chair from The Land of Nod)

Checking out her new radio from Auntie Trish!

Love those pigtails!

2 Weeks Until My New Job... SAHM!

That's right, I just put in my two weeks since the hubs got a job. I will get to stay home with Emma and be a full time stay at home mom/homemaker. I am so excited to be able to spend more time with Emma, especially this next year as her personality has been developing on what seems like a daily basis!

A few updates, she is now 13 months, walking, eating finger foods, taking swim lessons and loving Yo Gabba Gabba. That show is so weird, but there is constant music so I can see what the appeal is for a baby.

Hopefully, I will be more engaged in the blogging world now that I will have additional free time on my hands. I am fully taking on this next stage of life as a dream job, so I'm doing everything I can to prepare. I'm starting to develop cleaning charts & meal planners so that I don't go stir crazy! I figure if I schedule myself things to do every day then I won't get lazy and just end up laying on the couch eating popcorn and watch the Real Housewives all day long.

I made Emma blueberry pancakes on her birthday morning

Me and Emma get to spend so much more time together!

Walking like a pro

9 Months, Plus a Little Catching Up

Can it really be that I have posted on here since March?! I have let myself down, I was really hoping that this blog would serve as a place to share my worries, excitement, and all things family. I guess I need to catch this little blog world up to speed.

April- I ran my first half marathon! It was such a blast to go down to St. Louis for a night and run with my sister and her sister-in-law. We got a whirlwind tour of St. Louis the night before the race as we drove the race course, and my brother-in-law explained some of the history of the town. I love city's and I love history, so this was such a great experience. The race itself was really tough. I ran as a part of a charity team which was cool because I had supporters all along the race, even though they didn't know me. Honestly, I think I would need to lose about 20 more pounds before running that type of distance wouldn't hurt my joints so bad. Towards the end of the race my hips were hurting, and my hips never hurt! The race was hilly and windy, but I was so proud of myself for doing it. And it was so great to have my parents and Brandon and Emma there cheering me on. One of my "bucket list" experiences in life was to have my daughter cheering me on as I ran a race. Even though she can't yet cheer, it was still so great to have her see me running even if she doesn't remember it. I want her to know that her mom is happy and healthy, and me role-modeling a healthy lifestyle is so important.

May- I had my first ever Mother's day! It was probably the best Mother's day I could have imagined. Emma and I took the train up to Michigan for my cousin Kurt's fin ace's bridal shower. It was so much fun to spend the day in Bethany Beach, a place that is so special to me. I introduced Emma to the beach and Lake Michigan. She had a great time with all my cousins and aunts and Grandma. She was the perfect baby, smiling and chatting with people. It was so much fun.

The month of May Brandon and I decided that we really needed to get serious about finding our own place. Nothing bad was happening at my in-laws, it was just getting to be that time where not being on our own was starting to become a point of discord in our marriage. It was just tough to be a family in someone else's home. So we casually started looking, and found an amazing place on craigslist. The landlord liked us, and picked us out of five other applicants. We just moved in last weekend and while we are still unpacking boxes, it already feels like home. The landlord painted Emma's room, I got to pick the color and it's a beautiful light purple. Her room is all set up, it's just perfect. The location of our place is amazing, 10 minutes from work, walking distance to the library and a handful of restaurants and Caribou! God is so good, and he provided beyond what I could have dreamed of. It is so hard to trust him sometimes, especially when you feel as though you are wondering for 40 years through the desert. It is good to know that he knows what is best for us, but it can be so hard to be patient!

Today- Today is Emma's 9 month birthday. I can't believe it has been 9 months already. My last post indicated that she has started crawling, well once she started that she has been a girl on the move! There is no stopping her. She is pulling herself up to standing and crawling like a maniac. She just doesn't stop. This weekend was the first time she went in the pool, and to my delight she loved it! It was so much fun to watch her splash and kick her little legs. I am looking forward to many more trips to the pool this summer. This is such a fun time in Emma's life. I look at her in the car in the little mirror we have hanging above her carseat and she smiles back at me. At Target and other grocery stores she smiles and "growls" at other people and lifts her arm up like she is waving. I hope she never loses this sense of wonder and excitement and friendliness. She is such a joy, and I love her so much.

On the Move!

Emma is starting to figure out the whole crawling thing. It is so cute, she pulls her legs up and scoots forward like an inchworm. My words can't describe how adorable it is, so here's a video! (Emma is almost 7 months old!)

Optimistic- A story about a girl named Anna

Last night, a girl I knew in high school passed away from a ten year battle with Neuroblastoma. You can read more about her heroic battle here. I knew her pretty well in high school, we swam together for a few years and senior year we were both in a group of about 5 students who were voted on by our class as "most optimistic" in the yearbook.

I lost contact with Anna, like almost all of my high school relationships, almost immediately after high school. This is something that happens not by choice, but simply by life circumstances and the fact that I am not one to just pick up the phone and re-connect with someone. But, like almost all of my high school relationships, I occasionally check up on people through Facebook identifying where our lives now intersect even though we are not now, and not really ever were, that great of friends. Unlike other relationships, I had one more way to connect with Anna and that was through the website I linked to above. I read over the past few years as Anna would get better and the inevitably worse as the cancer spread and progressed.

All I could think about was how we were lumped into the same category of "most optimistic" in high school. At that time, Anna had been recently diagnosed and so she seemed like the perfect fit for that category. She was always happy, never complained, always had a smile on her face. I, on the other hand, was pretty optimistic but not by Anna's standards. Over the past ten years she has struggled day in and day out fighting to gain awareness about this disease, all the while staying positive and keeping God central in her life. What have I done these past ten years? I have worried a lot about a lot of things that don't really matter. I have become more pessimistic than optimistic even though my life has brought me incredible blessings like my amazing husband and beautiful daughter. And health. Let us always be thankful for our health.

I want to strive to be more like Anna, sharing the glory of God simply through living life every day with a smile on my face. I want to raise a daughter like Anna, who will put a smile on the faces of strangers in good times and in bad. So Anna, even though we haven't spoke in nearly ten years, you have done a lot for me and I thank you for that. I look forward to catching up in Heaven.

For more information on how you can help kids fighting neuroblastoma please visit www.annabanana.org. You can find a link to the Children's Neuroblastoma Cancer Foundation by clicking on "Anna's Hope".  

Delinquent

Wow, I have been slacking in the blog department lately. I'm especially ashamed that I missed posting about Emma's 5 month birthday. I will post the shot that I took for her 5 month photo shoot this weekend. I have been so busy since I have started school again and also have started working full time again. I really miss Emma during the day, but it makes the time I get to see her when I get home at night that much more valuable. I have moved my workouts to before work, pushed my start time at work back an hour to accommodate, and many times I take a short lunch so I can leave early. I do all that to spend as much time with Emma as I can before she goes to bed. It's amazing what you will sacrifice for your kids, in my case it is sleep. I feel like there are never enough hours in the day, so it's all about prioritizing & time management. I am learning every day what is most important to me, and how to learn to make time for the people that matter. I am not perfect at it, but I am trying to figure it all out. Waking up early to hit the gym while my two favorite people are sleeping means that I get to spend three hours with my family when I get home from work before Emma goes to bed. That time is more precious to me than anything else in the world and so I will do whatever I can to protect it.

While it's been a sacrifice, I have found that I enjoy my runs before work. I love feeling like I am starting work energized and like I have already accomplished something that is meaningful to me. The longest distance I have run is 5 miles, and I am planning on running 6 this weekend with my sister since she is coming into town. I am looking forward to running outside, something I haven't done since before I was pregnant. I am also really looking forward to having a running buddy! Brandon and I used to run together all the time, but it is really hard for the both of us to get out there now. I can't wait to find a good jogging stroller on craigslist so the three of us can go for runs together this spring & summer.

For now, we are enjoying the indoors. I get the biggest smiles from Emma when I hold her in the air like Brandon is doing in the photo above. Still no giggles yet, but I am hoping to hear them soon! She is so close to laughing.

We are also embarking into the world of solid foods. So far all we have tried is rice cereal and she likes it way more than this initial photo of her trying it. She actually opens her mouth now and tries to help me guide the spoon to her mouth. Adorable. :)

This picture cracks me up, she looks like a sad puppy dog.

Goodnight all, thanks for reading!

Teeth!

Little Emma is getting her first teeth! I can't believe teeth are happening already, but I guess that's how the rest of her life is going to go. I will keep saying, "I can't believe she's crawling, I can't believe she's walking, I can't believe she's starting her first day of school", I can't believe, I can't believe...


And while all these milestones are hitting fast and furiously, I also can't believe my own excitement as I eagerly anticipate the next big thing. On Friday I bought rice cereal and a few pureed veggies for her to start trying in the upcoming weeks. I am so excited that she has this brand new life that is so perfect right now. She has perfect baby hair and baby skin. She eats only what she needs and gets enough sleep. She's not been tainted by the need to look a certain way, or to overindulge in a night of Mexican food binge eating (me last night). So while I am so excited to have her try new things, I also am sad that she won't have this perfectly functioning baby body much longer. Soon enough she will prefer hot dogs & cookies over brown rice cereal and sweet pea puree. I can only hope that by making the right choices for her now, she will follow my lead and begin to learn to make the right choices independently. There will be bumps & mistakes made along the way, but in all this I need to remember that this is her life. Her choices. I think that is the hardest realization of motherhood.

So with teeth, comes the next chapter. Discovery, independence & nourishment. I can't wait to see what her favorite foods are, I feel like this is the first look into who Emma is.

Back to Work: A Reflection on these Past 4 Months

I go back to work tomorrow, full time, for the first time in 4 months (give or take). My maternity leave and baby bonding leave have expired and it is time to start helping with the bills again. As I reflect on these past 4 months, I ask myself,

"did I make the most of it?"

And so, here are a few things that I have been doing since the end of August:

Resting
Laying down with Emma in bed next to me and napping together
Taking her picture
Staring at pictures of her that I have taken
Looking at her and memorizing her face & every little fold of skin
Making her smile
Crying with her
Dreaming of the person I hope she becomes
Telling myself I hope she becomes whoever she wants to be...and that I will love her no matter what
Reading, both to myself and to Emma
Being spit up on, farted on, pooped on and not grossed out by any of it (well, the poop gets me sometimes)

My heart is so heavy when I think about being away from her for 40 hours a week after being with her 24/7. I know it is good to have a little separation but it is going to be hard. I love my little nugget, and I don't want to miss a second of her life.

I Love to Laugh

Occasionally I will sit on line looking for funny things, and I will find them and laugh to myself. I had to share this one. I can't help but feel like this is all that's wrong with America summed up in one video. Also, it's hilarious.

Alana, Age 6, Best Beauty Pageant Kid, Ever - Watch MoreFunny Videos

Kohl's Purchases

Enough dreaming, I finally got around to spending my Christmas money (thanks mother-in-law!). I decided that since I am going back to work in 5 days I should add a couple new pairs of shoes to my wardrobe and I've been meaning to get a cute pair of skinny cords for a while now. My good friend from college is having an engagement party in about a week so I also picked up the cute long sweater you see Lauren Conrad wearing in the picture. Although I got it in red, and I'm going to wear it over leggings. I'm not ashamed to admit I love shopping at Kohl's! It's super affordable, and with the addition of the Lauren Conrad collection there are pieces in the woman's department that don't look like frumpy old woman clothes. Shopping success!

Kohl's Purchases by sarah-perkins featuring cordoroy pants

Lauren Conrad cordoroy pants
$30 - kohls.com

Ballet flat shoes
$39 - kohls.com

Dana Buchman Wedges
$48 - kohls.com

Weekend Look

Weekend Look 1 by sarah-perkins featuring shop handbags

Stretch jeans
€9,95 - bonprix.de

H&m shoes
£15 - hm.com

Mango shop handbag
£30 - houseoffraser.co.uk

Friis Company chunky bangle
€15 - shopfriiscompany.com

Nars Highlighting Blush Powder
$27 - lordandtaylor.com

Lancome Juicy Tubes - Bolole
$18 - lancome-usa.com

Under 50 Bucks

Love this website, Polyvore. It fulfills my desire to work for a magazine :) All these pieces are under $50! And isn't that hair fabulous? Unfortunately my hair will never look like that, but a girl can dream...

Under 50 by sarah-perkins featuring south sea pearl jewelry

Hollister Co floral top
$40 - hollisterco.com

White Stuff white top
£18 - johnlewis.com

Straight jeans
£11 - peacocks.co.uk

High heel pumps
$35 - modcloth.com

South sea pearl jewelry
$22 - mcssl.com

Kim Seybert Round Beaded Placemat
$58 - barneys.com

bamm bamm rocks shopping in CB2 accessories
$6.95 - cb2.com

Pier 1 Imports - Vanilla Creme Candles
$0.95 - pier1.com

Weekend Workout Update

I don't want to jinx myself but think I am back in the running game. I ran both Saturday and Sunday this weekend and felt really good. Granted, I didn't run the entire time I still have to take a few walking breaks. Even still, I think I love running again! I remember a couple years ago when I was running almost every day I would look forward to that feeling you get when you're about mid-distance and you get that surge of energy that takes you to the end. I lost that for a while, my runs just became something to get over with to try and burn off that extra piece of pizza or ice cream from a weekend of bad food choices.

That's all going to change now, I am signing up for my first half marathon! My sister and I, along with her husband and several members of her husband's family will be running the GO! St. Louis half marathon on April 15. I am very nervous about this, it will be my longest run ever. I finished the Soldier Field 10 mile a couple years ago, that was a lot of fun but I can still remember how dog tired I was around mile 8 & 9.

Feeling good at mile 1!

Crossing the finish line at the 50 yard line in Soldier Field-really cool experience

Showing off our medals. Tired but happy

Hopefully I will train smarter for this race, which means being serious about sticking to a training plan. I will be updating my blog every Monday with my Weekend Workout Update to hold myself acceptable to not skipping out on the long runs that are planned for the weekend. I begin my training today, 2 miles piece of cake ;)

Coming Home

After a long 6 weeks in Minnesota, I am happy to say that Brandon and I (and Emma) are coming home! Brandon will be working for the same company, but they are allowing him to work remote. Thank you Jesus! I never in a million years though that they would be open to that possibility.

I couldn't be more thrilled to be going back to sleeping in my own bed, and having Emma in her own room. We will still be living in the in-laws basement while we look for a place of our own. We have toyed with the idea of purchasing a place because with the market how it is prices are low and people are eager to sell. However, with Brandon still open to working anywhere in the country we are having a difficult time with the idea of making such a big purchase and then not being able to get rid of it. Thus, the apartment search ensues! I love/hate looking for apartments. It seems like anything we want/need is way out of our price range and so when I start looking at sad, dumpy looking places that are in our price range I get super depressed and start trying to figure out how I could potentially work 3 jobs to afford a place. I jest, however it does get really depressing. Of course with looking for new places to live comes the dream of owning new furniture :) Here are a few of my favorite things. How cool is the beanbag hammock and the table top fireplace?? Or the scrabble pillows "love"!

home by sperkins

Emma Under the Tree

Here is my submission for an example of a "sparkle" picture for a photo challenge I am doing. Emma under the tree, I'm sad Christmas is over!

Resolution #1

One of my many resolutions this year is to stop worrying about what others think of me. This is something that I have struggled with for a long, long time. I think I can trace it back to 5th grade when kids in my class called me "cow" and even went so far as to write things in my yearbook that year like "have a great summer, cow". Ouch, kids can be the worst! The reason I think this was so damaging to me was that I had so many great things going for me in my life, and I felt really good about those things. I was good at school, and I liked school. I was good at swimming, and I like swimming. I went to church, had a loving family and enjoyed all these parts of my life. I had no problem with myself, so why did they all have a beef with me (pun, funny enough, intended)?

When I put my adult glasses on I can see now that kids (and adults too) generally are intimidated by confident, happy people. Why? I have no idea, but I do know I feel that way towards happy, confident people sometimes. Now, I'm no psychologist, but I believe that when kids feel intimidated, they team up and become bullies, or participate in bully-type behavior. So my confidence and happiness was translated into something intimidating to them.

All that has lead me on a path of always worrying what others think of me. Being bullied when you feel you have no reason to be bullied puts you in a very defenseless position therefore causing me to always have my guard up. I know that bullying is a hot topic right now, and many people are bullied for far worse reasons. What it comes down to though, is that people are bullied if they are different. It's unfortunate that it's taken me so long to realize that different is good.

Which all leads me to today. Today is the day I took my first step to decide to do something without worrying what others would think. I was sitting in our hotel room that I've been sitting in just about every day for the past 5 weeks and decided to get up and go to a coffee shop to write. Here's what went though my head:

I'll have to bring Emma, should I bring her in in the stroller, or just her carseat? If I bring the stroller, will it fit around all the tables? When I bring Emma, should I get her all bundled up, will people look at me and think I didn't dress her appropriately? What if Emma starts crying, will people think I'm a bad mom for bringing a baby to a coffee shop? 


So much unnecessary worry for something so little as wanting to get out of the hotel. So much time and energy wasted on what strangers will think of me, when in actuality they may not be thinking anything besides what a cute baby :)

Now I'm sitting here, happily sipping my Northern Light Vanilla latte (resolution #2 lose weight, check!) while Emma sits happily in her carseat carrier on the chair next to me playing with her crinkle dog and babbling happily to herself. I realize that I don't care, Emma can cry and I'll leave. Big deal. Or maybe she'll fall asleep as she tends to do sometimes in places where there is a lot of ambient noise. Big deal. I'm with one of my favorite people in the world, teaching her to love the smell of coffee and the atmosphere of a coffee shop and that's all that matters to me now.

Update: She fell asleep! :)