I've removed the "follow me on my weight loss journey!" widget from my blog because as much as I hate to admit it, it made me cringe every time I logged in because the number is obviously going up as I am pregnant. I didn't need a reminder that I am getting bigger, I can just look in the mirror for that. Weight has always been a big issue for me, it's something I was always conscious of even when swimming 2-3 hours a day during high school swim season. I was always bigger, but never felt unhealthy. Of course that is because I was swimming TWO to THREE HOURS a day! It's been hard as a post-high school semi-retired athlete to accept my new body and let it settle a little heavier than I would like. And when my OB with my first pregnancy told me I was 50 pounds overweight during our first meeting I was crushed, and have used that to fuel my passion for losing weight these past nearly three years. Looking back, I am appreciative of that "wake up call" because I never saw myself more than 20 pounds overweight and in reality I was probably more like 30-40 pounds overweight. However, I don't know if having a doctor tell a pregnant woman such an aggressive number was the most appropriate thing to do at the time. I was literally trying to hold back big sloppy tears as he told me stories of women that would keep chocolate chip cookies in their purses, almost preemptively judging that I seemed the type to do such a thing.
With Pregnancy Number Two, I am trying to think more realistically about food and exercise. I know I am in much better shape, and have a healthier view of food than I was with Pregnancy Number One. I keep telling myself I am going to workout at least 4 times a week and eat healthy while allowing indulgences once in a while. That, to me, seems reasonable. I will let the scale fall where it will.
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